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“We are able to leverage an ever-increasing international market share for this fine pharaceutical, which, through astute marketing and high cash flow, will enable us to expedite its entrance to an ever-expanding market of devoted consumers through the judicious corruption of inspectors and customs agents, whom you Americans so quaintly hire from among the more impovershed and unreliable segments of your society.... In short, oh lovely Unbeliever, I shall become filthy rich in the opium trade, just as I did before the recent unpleasantness with the Taliban. Now, could you please retrieve your charming associate? She seems to be wallowing in the raw materials.”
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Unable to argue with such flawless capitalist logic, we bid our allies farewell - However, we soon noticed that our tribesmen friends, overcome by the the spirit of capitalism, had borrowed the wheels off our Humvee...
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So after liberating a camel, we continued onward...
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“Teehee... Is most exerrent poppy clop, Yes!..!”
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“Wheee! Humpy Cam-rel not so bad either..!”
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As we wandered across the trackless sands, far out in the middle of the dune sea, we found two ragged natives, crouched in a hole in the ground - one was wearing a burlap sack, a cardboard beard and a teapot on his head, the other was simply dressed in a packing crate and a turban made from an old bird’s nest - which, judging from the traces on his neck, was apparently still occupied... They appeared to be intent at cooking an old boot in an army helmet, over a smoky fire of dried camel dung - some not so dry. Their quaint hole-sweet-home was lined with bundles of bank notes and cases of small arms...
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